The Power of Losing
Youth sports are very beneficial to children during their formative years. It helps a child to develop coordination, strength, confidence, teamwork, character, and to learn a healthy and active lifestyle. I certainly remember my first sport exeperiences and would’nt trade them for anything.
I was very fortunate to have great coaches who followed the right youth sport philosophy and were mostly interested in developing responsible individuals and teaching healthy lifestyles. The main thing was to teach sport skills, be active, make new friends and have FUN.
Isn’t this what it’s really suppossed to be about?
However, lot’s of things have changed in the last 30 years or so in the world of youth sports, such as:
The bottom line here is that the majority of children are not having a good time participating in youth sports. In fact, the latest research conducted by the University of Michigan indicates that 80% of children drop out of youth sports by the age of 13. That’s an amazing statistic, but I’m not surprised. The number one reason why children stated they quit was “it was no longer fun.”
Who is to blame for this craziness? Adults, not the children.
Let me be more specific. Adults who follow the wrong youth sport philosophy of emphasizing winning over participation.
Youth sports needs to be for ALL children (this includes children with disabilities), and not just the few children born with natural athletic talent. The emphasis needs to be on teaching sport skills, socialization, health and fitness, and character development.
Now that I am involved as a volunteer youth sport coach with my daughter’s basketball team for 5-year olds, I am very aware of the parents following the right youth sport philosophy. I’m also cognizant of the parents who have other intentions and aspirations for their child, or should I say for themselves.
If you come across these over-emotional adults at youth sport events yelling at the referees, placing enormous amounts of pressure on young athletes, or over-emphasizing winning, please have them read the following story one of my colleages, Jody Rudick, recently posted on her blog. You may shed a tear after reading it.
The Power to LoseAt a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: “When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?”
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. “I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.”
Then he told the following story:
Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, “Do you think they’ll let me play?” Shay’s father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
Shay’s father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, “We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.”
Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father’s joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, “Shay, run to first! Run to first!” Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second!” Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. He was the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, “Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay”
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, “Run to third! Shay, run to third!”
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, “Shay, run home! Run home!” Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
“That day”, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world”.
Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy; and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
If you would like more information on training programs for volunteer youth sport coaches and administrators, contact the National Alliance for Youth Sports (NAYS).
Filed under: Youth Fitness & Sports |




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